Quotes & Stories

Here we share some quotes and stories of great game play (or not so great game play):

“Been living on the edge with shopping and eating out but was just taken out by a ringtone on the phone of a parent in our office. Beware! It can sneak up on you unexpectedly!” – Amy

“Had to take the dog to a special vetrinary dermatologist for her skin condition (we have the world’s most expensive dog). The appointment happened to coincide with their office computer network crashing, so nothing was running on-time and everything took twice as long as expected.
An hour and a half later, I’m checking out at the receptionist’s desk when what should come gently crooning out of the little clock radio on her desk LIKE A *^%#ING SNIPER ON A WATER TOWER?!!

I was almost too depressed at that point to even register the $400 vet bill. 😕 😞” – Dave

“For the past four years, I’ve curated a completely LDB-free program of Christmas music to perform on my violin at my daughter’s preschool. Yesterday was the big day. Feeling inclusive, I popped into the nextdoor classroom to invite the younger kids to join us for the big show. I was halfway through my invitation when I realized that the teacher was playing what I later figured out was the Peanuts Christmas version of LDB. OUT. I could barely make it through my performance. The irony.” – Liz

“I have the BEST big sister ever. I’m visiting her on the east coast. She teaches Sunday School and I was helping out with a room full of 3 year olds. She put on a video and then the realization dawned on her. She suddenly looked at me, horrified, and quickly shooed me out of the room- “It’s in the video! Quick, get out!” Just in time- She totally saved me!!!” – Julie

“Grammy award winning Mariachi Divas are currently performing holiday classics in my office building and i’m at extreme risk! #help” – John

“Amidst the gloom and doom of a not-so-great year, I’d like to present a CNN Heroes nominee. Yesterday, I was in the office of a work colleague who had an Xmas playlist going on her phone, quiet but audible. In mid-convo, she glanced at her phone, saw the offending title queued up and set to kill, and let out an “Oh no!”. I fled the office, ears plugged and unscathed. Saved by a civilian who was simply exercising a minimal level of vigilance. She wasn’t out there trying to be Captain America. She just saw something and said something. God bless her.” – Vinay

“Unbelievable. This, folks, is why it is pointless to tempt fate by talking about how easy it was to avoid the song, as I did like less than 24 hours ago. I’m sitting in a pub, drunkenly tweeting, as you do when you think you’re President, and I hear some dreaded vocalized syllables meant to imitate percussion. It’s a reggae version, and it’s hardly recognizable. I spend an entire minute asking myself whether this is indeed the song, whether my tenure in this game for 2018 is indeed over. But it is. Tears follow. Not just for me. But for all of the innocent, unoffending ears in the place. There are even children and pets in here, for the love of Pete. But LDB spares nobody. And so I’m out. 😩 Retired-elementary-school-teacher mother: Do your worst. I am now immune.” – Geoff

“It’s very tough for me to write, but I am OUT. In a the most awful way. At a sushi restaurant with the family. Musac station with the worst of the worst choir style versions of every song. As it rolled through every classic, I knew I was on thin ice. No amount of large Asahi was gonna make things better. The only saving grace is that I can tell Mati already is a player. She kept asking to go outside and did NOT want to be in the restaurant. Can’t wait till the day when we can veto Mom.” – Josh

[In reply to Josh ^^^] “OMG I just remembered. Eric and I had a similar situation at a restaurant last year! We sat down, drank some complimentary water, and then Eric’s face sank as he heard Christmas music. When the waitress came to take our orders Eric put on these new-to-me puppy dog eyes and asked the waitress to change the music. She gasped, “you don’t like Christmas?!” And Eric said, “it’s just a very stressful time for me to listen to this music right now.”

And waitress was SUPER SYMPATHETIC. She changed the music and then every 5-10 minutes she stopped by, patted Eric’s back and shoulders, and asked if he was doing ok.


“Drove 99 instead of 5 on the drive south for t-day this year and was mindlessly seeking through the radio channels. I’m still not 100% certain, but in my heart, I know I recognized the vile noise even drenched in static. I’m out.”

“The tyranny of LDB is that even 16 parts per million is enough kill you.”

“Well, it’s been a few days since it happened. I still don’t know where to start, really? I guess you could trace it all back to 2003 when I met this fine ass American lady in Budapest. Who’d have thought 14 years later we’d be mini-van driving happy parents of two. It was my fault. She didn’t want to be a min-van driver. I was ready to happily succumb to driving toddlers around and a whole crap-load of shit in a respectable sports edition Toyota Sienna. I mean the doors open by clicking a button. And that edition has better suspension and power steering to make it seem less like a mini-van. I was sold, and yeah I bought it. A 2013 varietal. You’d think they had figured out blue tooth settings by then. But little did I know they modeled that shit after a simon says game. You have to click at least 10 buttons, hold shit down, count to five, curse your grandma, cross your fingers and then wa-la, your phone might connect to the sound system. So yeah, I almost never do that shit. It is too bad, really. I have Prime music now. So yes, I listen to the radio when driving the van. The radio? It’s that thing you used to listen to in the early 90s and then record your favorite songs on a cassette tape.

So anyway, last Saturday I found myself in the Central Valley (visiting family for the holiday). I grew up in the Valley, and actually enjoy driving around the back roads. It’s perfect for country music listening, road sodas, and making out with your lady. So, I was planning my way back to civilization from Davis, and Google maps lined up a sweet drive through the backcountry to avoid the traffic on I-80. I was stoked. Just had some coffee. My fine ass wife had the kids and the dog in the other car (a long story). So I was like, let’s pump the fucking jams. I put my seat back a bit, and hit the gas. After a few moments I hit the “Scan” button on the radio. For some reason, I wasn’t thinking of the peril I had put myself into. But yeah, about 3 stations into the scan I hit 103.9. And boom, there it was assaulting my ear holes with the worst version of LDB I have ever heard. It was by “Mercy Me,” whose musical license should be revoked immediately. Really horrifying version. I listened to the whole thing to drown in that shit. Jesus Christ is all I can say.

Having listened to it, I realized that I was extremely unlucky. The song was so terrible I likely wouldn’t have recognized it during that 3-5 second scan if it hadn’t lined up exactly on that famously dreadful part of the song. I would have scanned right past just another shitty pop song. I also learned 103.9 has “The Valley’s best holiday music,” so be warned if you are passing through the Valley during the holiday season. During the rest of the drive I head LDB two additional times (on two different stations while scanning again), in a 1.5 hour drive. It was like getting kicked in the balls over and over. So lessons galore. Don’t buy a 2013 mini-van, watch out for hot American ladies in Budapest, and don’t scan the fucking radio during November or December. Out.”